Life Coaching

call Lorna today on 0416 171 964 or
(08) 9467 2595
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Can life coaching help you to deal with stress and anxiety?

stress and anxietyWorking with many people over the years I have found a common thread that affects us all from time to time; sometimes it affects us so much that it prevents us from seeing clearly what is before us, making life appear difficult. Dealing with this emotional roller coaster day in day out can lead to stress and anxiety.

The capacity we have to think is wonderful, allowing us to make sense of our world and to learn and create and much more, but sometimes we can get so caught up in our own “story” of how something appears that we don’t notice the opportunities and possibilities around us.

The following story is well known and has been told in many forms but I will share it with you as it points to a common truth:

Shiva and Shakti, the Divine Couple in Hinduism, are in their heavenly abode watching over the earth. They are touched by the challenges of human life, the complexity of human reactions, and the ever-present place of suffering in the human experience. As they watch, Shakti spies a miserably poor man walking down a road. His clothes are shabby and his sandals are tied together with rope. Her heart is wrung with compassion. Touched by his goodness and his struggle, Shakti turns to her divine husband and begs him to give this man some gold. Shiva looks at the man for a long moment. “My Dearest Wife,” he says,“ I cannot do that.” Shakti is astounded. “Why, what do you mean, husband? You are Lord of the Universe. Why can’t you do this simple thing?

I cannot give this to him because he is not yet ready to receive it,” Shiva replies. Shakti becomes angry. “Do you mean to say that you cannot drop a bag of gold in his path?

Surely I can,” Shiva replies, “but that is quite another thing.

“Please, Husband,” says Shakti.

And so Shiva drops a bag of gold in the man’s path.

The man meanwhile walks along thinking to himself, “I wonder if I will find dinner tonight – or shall I go hungry again?” Turning a bend in the road, he sees something on the path in his way. “Aha,” he says. “Look there, a large rock. How fortunate that I have seen it. I might have torn these poor sandals on mine even further.” And carefully stepping over the bag of gold, he goes on his way.

This version from Kitchen Table Wisdom – Rachel Naomi Remen MD

How many bags of gold have dropped in your path? How many have you recognised? Do you seem to be encountering quite a few obstacles on your journey through life? Some of these obstacle may not be as they seem.

Would you like to re awaken your ability to see opportunities and possibilities more clearly? Then give me a call on 0416 171 964

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New Year’s resolution

new year resolution listA new year, a clean sheet, turning over a new leaf. It’s the time of year we imagine making the changes we want to happen in our lives to make this year better than the last one.

Unfortunately motivation and persistence does not happen by magic and very often we inadvertently set ourselves up for failure.

So, how do we improve our chance to succeed?

  1. Just pick one resolution or goal to start with. You can always add more at a later date if things are going well. If you try to change too much in your life at once it won’t work as your energy and commitment is spread too thin and it will seem overwhelming. Focusing on one thing at a time will help you succeed.
  2. Be realistic – choose targets that are reachable. If your overall goal is large then break it down into manageable stages.
  3. Be specific – what exactly is your goal? (one sentence will suffice) State it positively “I will…” rather than “I won’t……” How will you measure it? Is it achievable in the time frame you have set? Write all this down.
  4. Visualise – yourself achieving your goal (this is an important step so don’t be tempted miss it out). Close your eyes and imagine a time when you have achieved your goal. See it in as much detail as you can. How does it feel? Is it enhancing your life? Are you being authentically you?
  5. Be resourceful – What resources will help you? Do you need to do any research before you begin? Planning and getting yourself ready before you start will help minimise delays or changes in direction later down the track and help you see clearly how to proceed.
  6. Obstacles – what problems might you encounter? How will you solve these? Thinking ahead can help you avoid the pitfalls or give up when you hit a road block. Most problems are solvable with a little thought and planning so there is no need to give up when you encounter one.
  7. Accountability –It is much harder to keep going when we are answerable only to ourselves; excuses come too easily with no one to encourage or cheer us on. Either tell a trusted friend or family member of your goal and ask for their support, or for the best results enlist the help of a life coach.

I have helped many clients reach their goals and sometimes surpass them – I can help you to reach yours too.

Contact me for advice:

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Mindfulness and Presence

It does not matter what you call it but mindfulness or presence is something very difficult to define in words; it must be experienced to truly understand the effect it can have on mental clarity, calmness and contentment.

WellOver the years many people have developed ways to access this inner sense of calm and wellbeing – this innate wisdom that guides us easily in all walks of our existence and never fails to be there if we can only allow it to manifest for us. I sometimes refer to this as our authentic self as it feels like we have remembered something forgotten which very much feels like home, like it fits us perfectly.

In coaching sessions I guide my clients to find this experience for themselves. In Transformative Coaching (3 Principles approach) I help my clients understand how this works at a deeper level, how to find this experience more easily and to find their innate wisdom to avoid being diverted off course by their own thinking.

This passage by Patty Llosa below describes for her how it feels:

When all is in confusion, when I dont know what to do next or where to find inner quiet, I go and sit down by the well. Usually Im at a point where nothing else works before I give up and just sit and listen to myself and the world, saying goodbye to all the permutations and combinations of efforts that seem to have brought me relief in similar past situations. Theres nothing more to do. Just sit. And wait.

The well is deep. I know that. Perhaps its bottomless. I don’t know if thats true although it certainly feels that way. What I do know is that there is a life in me over which I have no control. And when Im in anguish or at wits end some inner guide tells me nothing will change until I sit down by the well and give up all my usual solutions, all my doings.

It is essential to acknowledge ignorance and open to the unknown. Will help come? It usually does but you cant count on it, because when you do that you are already creating a side-path, already haggling with the Almighty, so to speak, and trying to get things to go your way.

So you just sit there, listening. You sit there with all you’ve got, noticing your thoughts upstairs as they pass by like clouds, and your bursts of reaction like sparks of energy in the solar plexus: agreement, disagreement; I like, I don’t like. Maybe if you keep a focus on your body, sitting there in real time, legs crossed in yoga pose, or tucked under a Japanese kneeling stool or perched on a chair as your torso rises like a tree trunk and your head floats on top, a prayer will appear all by itself.

I just learned that a dear, dear friend has Alzheimers, so I sat by the well today with my heart/mind shouting, it cannot be so! Anguish rose and swirled around my chest, impeding my breathing. Tears fell, but I scarcely paid attention to them. Finally the pain settled down into a dull ache, and gradually a larger energy than mine surged up from below, from the bottom of the bottomless well.

This well of being isn’t mine even though it is in me. It is deep and wide and perhaps endless. Although it can connect me with a source of energy I seldom contact, life tends to pull me along as if I didn’t need or want to live with depth. Even after I sit, firmly seeking a deeper sense of myself, as soon as my attention wanders away to follow a thought, Im back up at the surface of myself and of my life.

We live on the surface and seldom slow down to notice our own earth or have a sense of the depth of that well of the Living Water of Being. Why not take Rene Daumal’s admonition more seriously when he says, in MOUNT ANALOGUE, “Beware of the surface of things” ? Or Marion Woodman’s clarification in CONSCIOUS FEMININITY: “If we have no bridge to the unconscious depths that drive us, our rational attempts to correct our situation are merely Band-Aids. They work only so long as we remain cut off from the living fire inside. When that fire blazes forth, our Band-Aids go up in smoke.”

How, O how, to rouse the fire and send those Band-Aids up in smoke? The only way I know of is to sit by the Well of Being, and wait.

Patty de Llosa author of The Practise of Presence

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Transformative Coaching

Transformative coaching is based on the powerful insights of Sydney Banks who, in 1973, had a profound vision of the spiritual nature of life and how the three principles he discovered underpin all human experience.

I have found that this approach transcends mind states including anxiety and depression and my clients relate to it at a deeper level.

George Pransky describes this approach as:

“… a new and enlightened understanding of where human experience comes from and how it can be changed for the better without any techniques, strategies or prescribed behaviours.”

Transformative coaching works in a different way to traditional coaching and it promotes new understanding which leads to insights which are non sequential in nature meaning that big “a-ha” moments can happen in a moment. This understanding is of a more permanent nature which requires no effort to maintain motivation and being more pervasive it effects all areas of life not just the specific issue you are currently wanting to change.

Transformative coaching is also self perpetuating as you see life in a new way and your perspectives change as you understand how we create our experiences moment to moment and how empowering this can be.

Let me show you how you can truly transform your life and using your own wisdom to improve all areas of your life.

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Kick start your life

Create meaningful, positive changes in the way you experience life.

Have you ever wondered why some people view life like their glass is half full whereas others view it like their glass is half empty? Some people remain positive when life’s challenges happen while others collapse in a heap sobbing “why me!” or “It’s not fair!”

How we view our life is very much down to the beliefs we have that are created by life experiences of ourselves and others from our childhood onwards and these beliefs are added to every day as we move through life. We look for evidence to support these beliefs and as soon as we find it, then it cements that belief even more strongly in our mind.

These beliefs about the world, people and life in general are, for the most part, invisible to us and can be quite limiting. They govern the way we think and feel about situations and experiences and they help to formulate how we choose to react to any given situation.

For example if we have the belief that we are not good enough at something then if a mistake happens we will take that as evidence that of course we are not good enough which will reinforce the belief and erode our self esteem bit by bit. It may be that someone in a position of authority in our life once told us that we were not good enough and we believed them even though there may be no basis of truth in this belief at all. Childhood experiences, culture, media, teachers and peers all play a part in shaping our beliefs about our self and play a part in how good or bad we feel about our self.

These beliefs are not irreversible and they can, in fact, be changed. However, we cannot change what we don’t recognise. The good news is that there are ways to know that our beliefs may not be serving us to our best interests.

If you are feeling unhappy about an area of your life or that you are not living up to your greatest potential in your relationships it might be a change of thinking that will enable you to turn it around and enjoy a life that is meaningful and has purpose and leaves you feeling inspired.

Posted in Belief, Relationships | 1 Comment

Career forward

Explore alternative career options, manage work-life balance issues and achieve your full potential.

Many people follow their careers very haphazardly with little thought given to the two important questions of “What do I really want from my career?” and “Where do I see my career taking me in 5 or 10 years time?”

If we fail to ask ourselves these questions how do we know if our careers are going to give us what we really want and take us to where we ultimately want to be. Consider the satellite navigation system that many of us use in our cars, if we fail to enter a specific and correct destination and ensure we follow the map of how to get there we could end up anywhere, and we have wasted so much time in doing so.

It is also a sad fact that many people are in jobs that they do not enjoy or feel passionate about. Ask yourself “Do I look forward to going to work each day?” and “Does my job allow me to use my unique skills and talents to bring real meaning to my life?” If the answer to either of these questions is “No” then you may want to re-think your career. It may not necessarily involve a complete sea change for everyone but it may require a change in perception and a different way to see your current job or a move to another more suitable position within your organisation. Everyone is different.

Maybe your current job is taking more of your time than you would ideally like and is putting a strain on family relationships or eating into your leisure time leaving no time to enjoy life with friends and family. Sometimes pressures of work leave little time to relax and re-charge ourselves leaving us feeling tired, stressed and overwhelmed with the pace if it all.

Would you like to address this work, life balance so you can plan to spend your time split between the other activities that are important to you, making your life more enjoyable, peaceful and contented.

If you want to design, plan and live a more rewarding and fulfilling life with a career that inspires you then I would love to help you achieve that.

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Working mums

A working mum with childReturning to the workforce after having a baby can be very overwhelming.

After a career break many Mums can find it a bit daunting thinking about returning to work.

Maybe the type of work you previously did has moved on significantly as technology improves and you feel ‘out of touch’ with current working practises. Perhaps your feelings about your previous job has changed now and you are considering making a career change but are not quite sure about what you would like to do instead.

You may have questions about coping with the extra demands of employment outside the home or whether it is beneficial for the children to have Mum return to work. How will it all work?

It can be quite overwhelming with all the things that you are considering and quite normal to feel like you are going around in circles and not making much headway.

Working Mums can be a great source of learning for children and whatever reason you have for choosing to return to work you really can make it work for all the family. It is beneficial for children to see that you have a role other than being their Mum and that role is in the wider community and has a purpose. It is particularly important for a daughter to see Mum feeling happy and contented managing to work outside of the home and raise a family.

It can really raise your self esteem and give you variety in your life to return to work but it is important that you feel comfortable with all your decisions and that you are happy in the work you have chosen to return to.

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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” - Thoreau